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Somniphobia and Design

07.08.08 | 01:52 am
music: Belaire

I'm not sure what it is, but recently I've had trouble sleep. The part that confuses me the most is the fact that I'm beginning to think that it's self-inflicted. I'm tired, that's for sure, but my brain doesn't want me to sleep. I end up staying up, playing with designs in photoshop, playing Tactics: A2, drawing WindWaker Link, or watching Adult Swim. I am aware that I'm tired. I just can't motivate myself to go to sleep.

That said; it's lead to a couple mockups for websites that I think I really like.

A landing page for Chris:

Landing Page v1.1.1
Just a simple landing page with colored ads. Floating in the sky.

and a site for Justin's aunt:

JPeterson 2.0
I'm working on making the logo look more integrated. I'm hoping some color-matching to the main green will work.

Instead of opening up an FTP client I just made a new Flickr account. I'm not really sure if that's good or bad. Does using Flickr instead of an FTP for my online housings reduce my street cred? I guess whenever I get a mind to do another full site for myself I'll cut that out. Until then? While I'm freeballin' it? Flickr.

Then (just now) I spent about 30 minutes making a Poop Brown Level 1 Badge for the buddy icon. I gave up and left it the default Flickrbot portrait.
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MATT to Endoscopic Sinus Surgery: Pussy.

07.03.08 | 12:27 am
location: Austin
mood: goodgood
music: KRS-One

The first day of recovery has been relatively pain-free. The fact that I can't have a hot shower or hot liquids in my mouth for the first week or so hasn't really taken its toll on me just yet. I'm concerned that the timing of the recovery and my upcoming trip to LA might clash. If they don't, and I do end up flying out there on the 19th, I'll have to tote a fucking water pik around. Which sucks.

I'm bought a killer start-up lighting rig from Chris Lynch and he's gonna be mailing it out soon. I'm super excited about becoming equipped enough to do actual photo shoots. Lights are the first step to having the balls to put a profile on modelmayhem.com.

  • Step 1: Obtain respectable lighting rig.
    • Step 1b: Learn how to use said rig correctly.

  • Step 2: Test rig and methods on Tiffany, Wylie's beard, and someone else.
    • Step 2b: Find models.
    • Step 2c: Learn how to direct a model.

  • Step 3: Profit.

I hope I can level up enough to be able to shoot Kristi's wedding in December. My mom says that she doesn't think it's a good idea to put the task of recording one of life's most important memories in my hands...

Final Fantasy Tactics Advanced 2 rules. Maybe matthatesgames will get a post?

I'm really happy with the way things are going right now. Tiffany and I are doing great. The plan is still to move out to LA in the spring of next year. The only real preparation that I have to do for that is selling my truck and getting my long-overdue Fit.

I want to start doing something constructive. It might end up being writing or just general story construction. I've always secreted loved writing and it seems like something I could easily merge with my love for drawing Wind Waker style teenage protagonists.

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The Only Decision

06.12.08 | 01:30 am
location: Austin
mood: crappymortal
music: Meiko - Hiding

In my mind, the only decision that truly matters is deciding what you need to be happy. The amount of time that this answer affects should determine the importance of that answer. The need to read a new Batman book to be happy for the night is, obviously, a much smaller answer than what would make you smile as you exhale the last breath from your lungs.

Recently I came upon a definitive moment of clarity in which I decided what I needed to make me happy. I had a future lined out once. I had a life that I knew was going to make me happy. It was all I wanted. I don't have an answer to the obvious question of why I would throw that away. There is a part of her that thinks I'll do it again.

I've never wanted to prove someone wrong more in my life.

I found the girl I want for the rest of my life two years ago. She's all I want and now she's afraid that I'll just leave her again. That's what bothers me the most about the whole thing.

I miss so many things about our life. I want to be on that course again more than I've wanted anything.

PS. I went through my old entries and noticed that there wasn't a single emo entry while we were together. I was never anxious. I never worried. I didn't need an outlet for my emotional concerns... I was just happy. I guess it took losing that to realize what it truly meant to me.

I don't like feeling this way. I really think that we were the cure for each other's anxiety. I am sure, at the very least, that she was the cure for mine. Now trying to get her back is just proving to be stressful and it's worrying the hell out of me. I want to get back to normal. I want to get back to the good life.

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06.10.08 | 11:48 pm
location: Austin
mood: coldregretful

I know how happy we were and that makes me so sad.

I'd give anything to be able to do everything differently.

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not quite yet

12.03.06 | 11:18 pm
location: San Marcos
mood: angryheadache
music: Pearl Harbor

I've returned from the desert. I don't want to tell that story until I have all the photos from my F3 developed.

I have a few that I shot with a Canon 20d. I'm not gonna lie. They're pretty sweet. Although they don't have the same feel of the Nikon they're still really sweet shots. I wouldn't've been able to get these captures with my F3's shutter speeds...

I also took the time to edit all the shots from Chad's 22nd Birthday that hadn't been previously edited. I'm considering going through and thinning out some of the shots that aren't quite perfect. I've realized that my flickr should be quality over quantity. On the other hand, a ton of unnecessary shots isn't totally retarded.

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